On Judging Others

I have always easily judged others.

I find it very easy to sum up a person based on one or two encounters. 

Background. Disposition. Intelligence level. Amiability. Likeability. World view. Friendliness index etc.

Being in HR, it is my role to size up people in an hour or less, on all angles from functional fit to culture match. I need to as I don’t have much time to do so. 

Such brazenness translates to unsolicitedly passing judgment on each person I meet – most frequently those I did not have a positive interaction with. 

I immediately think that this person is type A, type B or type C. Sometimes type D and too much of a type E.

Cut and dry. Quick, successive judgments. No room for error, or empathy. Just plain judgment of character.

What I miss though is the reality that you can never get to know people in one interaction alone. It takes time. Just as people will never get to know you just by chatting with you for an hour.

We all live in our own timezones, speak different languages, use different currencies. 

We all grew up in different worlds with varying world views, teachers and brain-influencers. 

We hold different temperaments and boast of different emotional intelligences.

We have our own quirks, laugh at different kinds of humor, love assorted flavors and have different pet peeves as well. 

And these innate differences only show that other people’s dispositions or perspective may vary significantly from ours.

That is why  we need to provide people certain margins to be themselves and make an effort to find the gem in their uniqueness. 

They have an opposing opinion? Hear it out. You just might learn something new.

They are arguing with you? More like trying to make your ideas better. 

They are disagreeing with you? More like showing you a different perspective, which may prove to be a better one.

Suspending judgment is such a difficult thing to do.

But hold your breath. Bite your tongue. Take a step back. Force yourself to view your ideas from the other person’s angle and you may just be opened up to a blind side you wouldn’t otherwise have seen without their perspective to guide you.

In the end, no one can ever benefit from judging others too quickly. Just as we ourselves do not want to be judged quickly as well.

For judgment hinders us from appreciating positive traits or attributes from others that we will only see if we allow them just enough space to be truly themselves.

Prayer:

Lord, give me the grace to suspend judgment and to relentlessly allow people margins to grow and make their true selves known before me. 

For it is through these that I will be able to appreciate other people I meet and allow them to see You through them.

Amen.

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